August 16, 2018

The Decision To Have a Child...

This is the quote on our conference room wall. It's there to remind us every single day what it feels like to be a parent.

I put it there. I'm a parent. 

(* Just in case you don't read any further - the purpose of this blog post is to announce that we will be offering a Love and Logic Parenting Seminar here at Renaissance starting Monday August 27th. It will last for five weeks. Look for sign-up information in the Newsletter this week.)

Thirty years ago I had three children at home. I was unprepared for how challenging it could be. I lost my temper. I threatened stupid things. I cried. I was embarrassed sometimes. And yes, somedays, I wasn't sure I even enjoyed my kids. Can I really say that out-loud?

What I lacked were some techniques for setting limits, identifying power struggles, some tools and words for 'teaching' my children. I only had the tools I could remember from my own childhood - and most of those were loaded with criticism, shame and fear. But I used them, because it was all I had...especially when I was frazzled.

It was about that time I came across some literature about Love and Logic and then attended my first parent seminar. It changed my life. 

I then attended seminars for teachers and administrators, and when we opened Renaissance we made a decision to be a 'Love and Logic' school. 

Sometimes we have a 'Visiting Teacher' (substitute) and kids will grumble to me that this teacher doesn't know 'the Renaissance way'. What they are really saying is, this teacher doesn't interact with me with a Love and Logic foundation. The substitute teacher isn't bad, we've just found a better way to guide students.

Parenting with Love and Logic is all about raising responsible kids. It's a win-win philosophy. Parents win because they love in a healthy way and establish effective control over their kids, without resorting to the anger and threats that will haunt them later through rebellious teenage behavior.  Kids win because at an early age they learn responsibility and the logic of life by solving their own problems. Thus they acquire the tools for coping with the real world. 

Why the terms love and logic?

Effective parenting centers around love; love that is not permissive, love that doesn't tolerate disrespect, but also love that is powerful enough to allow kids to make mistakes and permit them to live with the consequences of those mistakes.

The logic is centered in the consequences themselves. Most mistakes do have logical consequences. And those consequences, when accompanied by empathy - our compassionate understandings of the child's disappointment, frustration, and pain - hit home with mind-changing power.

Two parents from Renaissance attended the facilitators training in May with the purpose of being able to offer parent seminars at Renaissance. 

*We purposefully have greatly reduced the cost to eliminate that barrier. The cost for an individual parent, or the couple is $40.00 for the six-week course. (Compared to $120 for an individual!) *Child care will be offered for children potty trained and older. 

*The course begins Monday, August 27th and runs for five weeks ( August 27, September 10, 17, 24, October 1st )
from 6:00 pm until 8:00 pm. here at Renaissance. 
*When you sign up you will get a weekly email reminder with a live link to sign up for child care if you need that. 

A second component will begin after this initial parent seminar. Those parents who have attended will then be invited to attend a bi-weekly support session to support parents in implementing these strategies, problem solve, and be a support to one another. Those dates will be coming soon.

This is going to be fantastic!

Warmly,

Ms. Deborah

August 10, 2018

Crew

On a boat, passengers are catered to. Their main purpose is to arrive at the destination with as little effort as possible. They are involved in the activities, but not wholly engaged in the journey. Crew, on the other hand, are responsible for the entire journey. They are engrossed in the activities of the ship. In fact, without their individual and collaborative effort, the passage cannot happen. 

Crew reach the same destination as their passengers, but their experience is significantly richer.

Author Unknown

* Thanks to Staci Teague, a mom at Renaissance, for designing our staff t-shirts! We will make them available to all of you very soon!

"What if students went to school with a mission, not just to get smart, but also to become a better person, and contribute to a better world? School could be a place of compassion and courage, a place of hope. I am a high school student in Chicago. My neighborhood has challenges; poverty and violence make life difficult for many families. But I have a privileged life. My privilege doesn't come from money or safe streets. My privilege comes from attending a school with a different vision of what is possible. Our test scores are good, but that's not the most important thing. Our work is beautiful, but even that's not the most important thing. This is what's most important: we work together to get smart for a purpose, to make our community and the world a better place."

These are the words of Ameerah Rollins, a student. These were the opening words I spoke to staff on our first day of this school year.  It's important to ground ourselves in the very core of why we are here; a call that drew us all to Renaissance. Moving outward from our 'why', we talk about 'what' we are; a school. We talk about the ten Design Principles that reflect the educational values and beliefs we share.
And finally, we will spend much of the year talking about the 'how' we do this purposeful work together... with our kids and with you.

A year ago I wrote a lengthy blog post for our community to share and explore our roots and beliefs. If you are new to our community, I really encourage you to take a minute and read that now. Even if you have been a part of our mission for years, grounding yourself in the heart of our work, will renew your passion and validate your choice to have sent your child to Renaissance. Here's that blog post.

Can We Change the World in the Kiss and Go lane?

 'Kiss and Go' lane in the morning : 

Yep...this is where you give a very quick kiss, and off you go.

If  
- you are getting out of the car,
- or your child is on the far side of the car away from the sidewalk -

 you are in the wrong place.

 Please park.  But not in the Kiss and Go lane!

If you need to watch your child physically walk into the building, please walk with them to the school, or watch from the parking lot.

Doing anything other than a quick kiss and driving away, creates a traffic flow problem and a safety problem. If this is a challenge, please give us a call and let's see what we can figure out to support you.

'Kiss and Go' lane in the afternoon:

Hmmm, the lane seems to be a parking spot? 

"If I get their early, I can get in the line and be able to pick up my student quickly and off I'll go."

 Hmmm. Doesn't seem to be working that way - or at least not the 'quick and off I'll go'.

I also know that it's frustrating because all the kids are not outside at 4:00 pm. We have our younger kids make their way outside first, followed by the older kids. I wonder if you watch for a few days if you can gauge about the time your child does appear outside? If they aren't one of the first to be outside, does it make sense to be the first car in the Kiss and Go lane?

I don't know of a school where this is not a problem. 

It feels so uncomfortable for us to have to approach parents to remind and explain the procedures. We worry it will jeopardize our relationships with you.

I wonder if we could solve this together?

The good news - dismissal is usually over in ten minutes!  In spite of our challenges, that is still incredibly quick for 400 students!

A New Procedure This Year:

Kiss and Go lane and Storm Dismissal:

The Kiss and Go lane during storm dismissal is for pre-arranged students. With very few exceptions, all of our community should be parking and coming in the building to pick up your student.

You received emails from your teacher about this procedure.
Families with babies have been identified and we have a list of students we will deliver to cars in the Kiss and Go lane.
We ask that unless you are on that list (you can call and check if you aren't sure) - you park. 

Thanks everyone for your understanding, and willingness to look at this from multiple perspectives. Everyone wants the same thing - to end the school day looking forward to the next one!

Big thanks to Meaghan Vandeloo, Emily Overman, Rebecca Espinoza and all our wonderful parent volunteers!

The Back to School Carnival was awesome!

So much fun!

Can you believe our first Voyage goes out next week!

Woo hoo! Here we go....

Have a great weekend!

Ms. Deborah